I confess, I don’t like gardening.
I love beautiful gardens and admire the wizardry of others with green thumbs. I am moved by the sights, smells and colors of peonies, irises and roses. And I feel deeply grateful I am the lucky beneficiary of someone – my husband – who loves gardening and has created a backyard that brings me tremendous peace and pleasure.
When it comes to me doing gardening, however, I’ve just never found the delight in it that so many others have. It feels like heresy to say, but it’s true…I get bored by the tedious, backbreaking, dirt-under-the-nails tasks that gardening entails. Give me a good book and a lounger any day and I’m happy.
I do appreciate the process of gardening, though, and the natural, cyclical nature of it especially in light of some recent happenings in my life.
As some of my blogs have revealed, this past winter and spring have been challenging for me. Oh sure, our long cold winter was a contributing factor but there was more to it. I found myself in a dark place, confused about the direction and purpose of my business, and unclear where I wanted to go. I felt tired and uninspired. I couldn’t seem to get the clarity and creativity I needed.
So, I got smart, left the comfort (and confinement) of my office, and sought out others’ help and ideas. I talked to colleagues and friends. I turned to my local SCORE office (SCORE is a free service run by Small Business Administration and provides business development services by highly experienced and skilled retired executives and entrepreneurs. Offices are in cities around the U.S. http://www.sba.gov), and did a lot of reading.
Most importantly, I followed the energy. I paid attention and whenever I felt a stirring of interest or a spark of excitement I explored that trail a bit more. Sometimes it turned into a dead end, but there were a few paths that opened up more and more possibilities in my mind. It’s taken me four or five months to get to a new place in my thinking about my business, but I can feel the juices flowing again.
It hasn’t been easy. I’ve found myself frequently impatient and scared…doubting that I would ever leave the darkness. Yet, now that I’m feeling the growth and the light is beginning to dawn, I know how important the past few months have been in preparing me for now.
Isn’t that what gardening is all about? There’s a natural cycle of growth, and even when, in the middle of winter and darkness, nothing appears to be happening, so much is. We think things are dead and stagnating, yet underneath the surface the seeds are experiencing momentous changes. And they, in fact, need the dark, fallow times in order to develop and grow.
It takes courage, I believe, to trust this process. To accept the ebb and flow of the growth cycle, as gardeners accept the seasonal needs of their plants. It takes courage to understand that even in times of darkness, amazing, wonderful new ideas and energy are quietly developing under the surface…and they will sprout eventually.
Be courageous!
Warmly,
Megan
