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Technology seems to be contributing to baby boomer moms staying more closely connected to their teens.  While staying connected is laudable, micro-managing is not.  It sends the message to your teens that you don’t trust them to handle the basic elements of their life.

The demarcation between supporting and smothering is often fuzzy. So, don’t feel bad. We’ve all made some mistakes in this area. Increased parental involvement over the last decade has been identified by both counselors and college officials as being a hindrance to healthy young adult development.

Colleges across the country - as reported by MSNBC.com and elsewhere - have announced new customer service policies in regard to hovering parents. Some have gone so far as to hire “parent liaison officers” and “parent bouncers” to keep parents from interfering with vital learning opportunities, while students live away from home.

Too Much
Is your involvement over the top?  Take a look at these examples:

• Your brief check-in calls happen more than once per week  to give guidance on what to do, whether you are asked for it or not
• You expect your son or daughter to report to you about every little thing (how the day went,  etc.) in order to steer your child in the direction that you think is right
• You make phone calls on your child’s behalf or you insist on meeting with college advisors yourself whenever you sense the slightest hint of trouble

While I realize that helicopter parents believe that they are indeed loving and caring, it’s important to understand that the most loving - and often the hardest - thing to do is to help your children become self-reliant.

Next week we’ll explore the opposite extreme: too little parental involvement.
Best-
Barbara