Do Scars Matter?
Jennifer LeBlanc
I had no idea how associated I was with my breasts. Until the reality of someone cutting into them appeared before me.
Wednesday is the date for my excisional biopsy to remove the as-yet-unidentified lump from my left breast. A little freaked out right now. Gotta’ admit it. I’m normally very confident but this has really shaken me.
I have learned so much through this process. I really had no idea that I cared about how I look. All my life, I’ve complained about the size of my breasts. Unlike a lot of women, mine are too large in my opinion. I know, I know … many women pay good money to make theirs bigger. But truth be told, they often pay good money to make C cups, not DD (or an “I” as I was when I was pregnant — yikes — that’s a whole other story).
So when the surgeon promised to hide the scar, I told him, “Do what you have to do — I don’t care about scars.” But then I put on my bathing suit this weekend and lo and behold, realized that my new deep plunging bathing suit would not cover the place where the scar will be. Oh. Maybe I do care about the scar. “What?!” I could hear myself thinking. “Since when do you care about such trivial things?” “Well, now I guess.” It was this whole angel/devil conversation going on inside of me. More like my practical side (the one I most often identify with) / vain side (the one I didn’t know I had so strongly). Wow. That in itself was a life lesson.
Everything happens for a reason. Clearly I needed to get in touch with my vulnerability.
I’ve got the lesson, can we stop now? ;->
Anyway, I’ll let you all know how it goes. Thanks so much for all your wonderful words of wisdom and support.
Until next week,
Jenn
Jennifer is a talented marketing strategist with over 12 years experience in building results-driven branding programs. She has been involved in numerous brand integration initiatives for high-growth companies including PeopleSoft (SkillsVillage and Vantive integration) and Nektar (merger of Inhale, Shearwater and Bradford Particle Design). She is known as a visionary leader with a passion for innovation and for getting the job done right and on time. She has published dozens of scientific, environment and health articles for a variety of publications and online media outlets including Discovery Channel Online, and speaks on branding, marketing metrics and marketing strategy. http://www.thinkresultsmarketing.com/
June 23rd, 2008 at 6:23 pm
First of all, I personally don’t think it’s vain to NOT want a scar. If it can be helped, why not? (And from friends and family who have gotten similar procedures done, it seems that most Doctors are pretty adept at hiding any scar.) If it can’t be helped, that’s a different story.
On a side note, what has helped me in the past is to take a different perspective on the “scar” by looking at it as a part of the healing process. . . physically, mentally, emotionally. What was once a threat or an injury has been taken away. . . and to me, that’s a comforting thought. Also it can be a badge of “I’ve beaten this thing.”
I have a lot of scars on my legs from being an active kid, scraping my knees multiple times. Those scars remind me of my youth and actually put a smile on my face sometimes.
Hoping a different perspective helps.
I’ll be thinking of you. . .
June 23rd, 2008 at 9:49 pm
Came here to say what Susan said. Vanity is feeling irredeemably ugly or of less personal worth because of a scar, or building an identity around being perfect. It’s not vain to be put off by the idea of a visible scar, it’s human nature.
And let’s face it - as women specifically but also as people in general our value and position in society is sometimes judged by others based on things such as cultural perceptions of beauty, which in our current culture doesn’t include surgical scars. To recognize this reality and feel some reluctance to put yourself in its path is simply being realistic and honest.
I don’t think you’re vain. I think you’re a beautiful woman facing the prospect of visible, permanent injury in a society that isn’t always as understanding and tolerant of superficial imperfections as it could be. I also think you’ll master this fear and handle it like the beautiful woman you are, with grace and strength.