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With the wealth of real opportunities and real solutions to weight loss in our nation, we must be surprised to find that we are literally the heaviest people on earth right now. There are so many reasons we can come up with to find the underlying causes for this – we don’t have to think very hard. For example, the predominant use of High Fructose Corn Syrup and other sweeteners, the lack of living foods in our every-day foodplans, the busy, busy, buy lives we lead (that often lead straight to the fast-food line). But really none of these addresses the deeper issues of WHY we choose to be obese. (Admitting that it is a choice is even part of the problem – OR the solution.

Talk to most women – women of any size – and they will tell you they’ve been on many diets in their lifetime. But if you speak with women fifty pounds overweight or more, you will likely find more knowledge and more understanding of nutrition and exercise and dietary options than any other part of the population. The reason? They’ve tried them all. So if that’s the case, then to coin an old phrase, what’s the real ”skinny” on our fat.

Rosie O’Donnell wrote a pretty eloquent explanation in her book Find Me (Warner Books, 2002): “Fat is a protector; anyone can tell you that. I didn’t like being thin. I felt like people could come too close.”

Many of the overweight women I work with express the idea that the heavier they get, the less they are seen, as if they are becoming invisible. Often they were unconsciously controlling their relationships with their own sexuality and the reactions of men by literally hiding in plain sight. The sad reality is that none of us are invisible – the only one we disappear to, day after day, is ourselves. Little by little, we deny more and more of our own value.

In my workbook for my 12-week course on creating permanent weight loss, (Loving What You See in the Mirror - Crucial Components to Permanent Weight Loss), I highlight the sad truth that excess weight often represents a need for protection. This could be protection from criticism, abuse, sexuality, or emotional attack. Being overweight can represent a fear of life in general or a fear of specific experiences or people. We seek to hide or disappear behind our bodies, or to pad or cover ourselves.

So how do we begin to let go of our masks? Ultimately, unlike diet and exercise, the willingness to let go of our safety net – in this case, excess weight – must come from inside. In the workbook for my course, I remind my participants that only when we identify what we are afraid of, or try to avoid, can we pinpoint what we are holding on to. The origin of our fear or avoidance is where we must look to, and the person or people involved are who we must forgive. THEN and only then are we likely to be able to create a PERMANENT change in our lives and let go of our body armor.

Only when we allow ourselves to exhale and be vulnerable to the rest of humanity, exactly as we are right now, and love ourselves as is, can we begin to truly author a new kind of beauty. In truth, loving ourselves right now is even a service to others. Anytime someone is healed on any level and creates a better life, all aspects of that person’s life are made better – all the people they touch, etc. One thing cannot be effected without ALL things being effected.

Releasing excess weight begins when we release the weight of our fear, our old stories, our old ideas and disappointments, and most of all, the invisible suit of armor we’ve created to protect us, but only served to imprison us in the end.

Laura Fenamore, CPCC, Body Image Mastery Mentor
www.LauraFenamore.com