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On a recent trip I watched “He’s Just Not That Into You” on the plane. It’s an entertaining movie with some good knee-slapping scenes and a lot of “oh no he didn’t!” moments. The movie starts off with a scene of a little girl getting knocked over by a boy at a playground. A well meaning parent chides, “It’s okay. He does those things because he likes you,” which sets off the life long challenge of misread signs, dating jerks and tolerating bad behavior.

I believe this could definitely happen in real life. In some situations, there may be an extraordinarily shy guy who, despite liking you, chooses to ignore you because he’s afraid of saying something stupid. Or perhaps the person who nervously manages to put his foot in his mouth every single time he talks to you. These situations can range from frustrating to endearingly cute.

However, I learned several relationships ago, that I don’t appreciate these mixed signals. Sometimes jerks are just jerks. In fact, what works best in any relationship is honesty and forthright communication. I admit that sometimes the “game” was fun to play and added some spice, but it gets tired fairly quickly. The longer it goes on, the less cute it becomes.

If you agree, re-define what a relationship means to you and create a set of healthy boundaries. This is a way to take care of Self while developing new bonds and friendships. Once I established these things in my life, I didn’t feel like I had to play the “game,” and believe me, dating was just as fun without it! Wouldn’t you rather have a real life honest relationship than just “drama and entertainment.” Leave that to the movies.

What healthy boundaries make sense to you in your relationships?

Make Happiness Yours,

Susan
Life Coaching and Professional Development
www.susankimcoaching.com