Often when parents take an active part in raising happy,
healthy, and responsible kids, they’re surprised to hear
“You’re mean!” from their preteens and teens. But don’t
let this derail you. Take a look at this “Mean Mom” poem
(author unknown) that a Facebook friend shared with me:

“Someday when my children are old enough to understand the
logic that motivates a parent, I will tell them, as my
Mean Mom told me:

I loved you enough to ask where you were going, with whom,
and what time you would be home.

I loved you enough to be silent and let you discover that
your new best friend was a creep.

I loved you enough to make you go pay for the bubble gum
you had taken.

I loved you enough to stand over you for two hours while
you cleaned your room, a job that should have taken 15
minutes.

I loved you enough to let you see anger, disappointment,
and tears in my eyes. Children must learn that their parents
aren’t perfect.

I loved you enough to let you assume responsibility for
your actions even when the penalties were so harsh they
almost broke my heart.

But most of all, I loved you enough to say NO when I knew
you would hate me for it.

Those were the most difficult battles of all. I’m glad I
won them because in the end, you won too. And someday
when your children are old enough to understand the logic
that motivates parents, you will tell them.

Was Your Mom Mean?

Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all times. You’d
think we were convicts in a prison. She had to know who our
friends were, and what we were doing with them. She insisted
that if we said, we would be gone for an hour, we would be
gone for an hour or less.

We were ashamed to admit it, but she had the nerve to break
the Child Labor Laws by making us work. We had to wash the
dishes, make the beds, learn to cook, vacuum the floor, do
laundry, empty the trash and all sorts of cruel jobs. I think
she would lie awake at night thinking of more things for us to
do.

She always insisted on us telling the truth, the whole truth,
and nothing but the truth. By the time we were teenagers, she
could read our minds and had eyes in the back of her head, Then
life was really tough!

Mother wouldn’t let our friends just honk the horn when they
drove up. They had to come up to the door so she could meet
them.

Because of our mother, we missed out on lots of things other
kids experienced. None of us have ever been caught shop-
lifting, vandalizing others’ property or ever arrested for
any crime. It was all her fault.

Now that we have left home, we are all educated honest adults.
We are doing our best to be mean parents just like Mom was.
I think that is what’s wrong with the world today. It just
doesn’t have enough mean moms!”

Perhaps you don’t agree with everything in this poem, but
I believe it contains a lot of wisdom.

Now I want to add some examples of the kind of meanness
that is the opposite of what’s mentioned above, the kind
that truly is harmful:

• Causing your teenagers to become dependent on you by

doing everything for them

• Praising your teen’s friends while berating your own child

• Tolerating any kind of verbal, emotional or physical abuse

in your home

• Withholding your approval by insisting on perfection in

all things

• Breaking your child’s spirit because you’re overwhelmed

and refuse to get help.

As a mom, you know how important it is to honor your role
as parent and coach, even when it’s hard and you don’t think you
have the time or the strength to do it. But if not YOU, who will?
Keep this poem handy to re-engage, as necessary.

Best-

Barbara
The Savvy Success Coach

P. S. For additional support on how to be the best parent you can
be, refer to the 7 simple steps in Coach Your Teen to Success.
(www.amazon.com).