So much of our lives we give and give and give - and there is definitely plenty of opportunity to exercise this muscle: as sisters, as volunteers, as mothers, as community members, as caregivers, as nurturers, as employees, as managers, as service providers, as compassionate people, as wives, as someone who simply empathizes.

And as the Holidays approach, most of you will be organizing parties, planning the gifts, coordinating the menus and giving more of your time and energy. It is fun. It is exciting. It is something you enjoy. It is an expression of your love.

But believe me when I say this - Others enjoy giving as well. . . and I’ll bet they’d love to give to YOU.

For some people, receiving is harder to do than giving.
Part of the reason is because “receiving” is associated with “taking,” ie the phrase give and take. Over time, “taking” has developed a negative connotation and in looking at the definition, I can see why:

“take - to seize or capture physically; to catch or attack through the effect of a sudden force or influence; to obtain or secure for use.”

It’s not a very friendly verb is it. When you take something, you’re seizing something by force.

In contrast we look at “receiving”:

“receive - to come into possession of: ACQUIRE; to permit to enter: ADMIT: WELCOME, GREET”

When you receive something, you’re allowing something (hopefully something positive) to enter your life.

Based on that, “receiving” is the natural counterpart to “giving.”
In fact, giving would scarcely exist without receiving.

So as you prepare for your fiesta of thanks, allow others to give . . .
Potlucks are cool
Family members help to set up
Friends help to clean up
Children organize the entertainment

So make others happy and allow them to give to you. . . and receive with grace and thanks, as is the spirit of the holiday.

Have a wonderful Holiday weekend!

Make Happiness Yours,
Susan

Then, as I was madly deleting emails and marking spam, I came across this email, which for some reason, caught my eye and I decided to take a little break and read it. I’m glad I did. . . .

TEQUILA AND SALT
This should probably be taped to your bathroom mirror where one could read it every day.
You may not realize it, but it’s 100% true.

1. There are at least two people in this world that you would die for.
2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.
3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.
4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don’t like you.
5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.
6. You mean the world to someone.
7. You are special and unique.
8. Someone that you don’t even know exists loves you.
9. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.
10. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take another look.
11. Always remember the compliments you received.. Forget about the rude remarks.

And always remember…..When life hands you lemons,
Ask for  tequila and salt  and call me over!!
Good friends are like stars….. You don’t always see them,
But you know they are always there.

This email reminded me of the important things, the BIG things, the people I love and those that love me.
It put a smile on my face and definitely put things into perspective for me. At a time when the sh#$ was definitely hitting the fan, the couple minutes it took for me to read this email shifted my attitude for the rest of the day. . . .

Needless to say, my afternoon went swimmingly!

I hope it brings a smile to your face as well. . . Aloha!

Make Happiness Yours,
Susan

Safety to self is priority #1 in order to survive.

Survival also reinforces the importance of getting our needs met. Not only the basic needs of food, water, shelter, etc., but also making yourself a priority by balancing work and play, connecting with others and tapping into your spiritual side. It means fulfilling the personal needs that you have in order to survive. Because if you don’t get your basic personal needs met, they can RULE your life, making survival a harder task.

Think about when you’re hungry. At first it is a small grumbling that you an ignore, but then it gets louder, more intense and eventually, you might get the “shakes” from low blood-sugar levels. At this point, it’s quite hard to over look and your drive and motivation turn to finding food to meet that need. And as you’re scavenging for something to eat, your decision making skills may not be as sharp - you’re focused on food!

Now imagine it’s something more of a personal need, like connecting with others.  Again, it may start with a small “grumbling” but then if not met with healthy connections, you might turn to any kind of connection, just to satisfy that need - quality connection or not.

To get started, the first thing to do is to identify your needs. Here are some guidelines to follow when considering a need:
1. It is absolutely satisfiable (if it is not, it could be an addiction or an obsession)
2. It is something that gives you healthy energy - that fuels you positively.
3. It is NOT an option in your life - you require it.

Preparing for a disaster means maintaining your personal well-being.
And to survive, safety to self is #1.

Discovering your personal needs and starting to get those met will start you in the right direction.

Make Happiness Yours,
Susan

It’s Election Day here in the United States and your Vote counts.

Regardless of who you support or what you believe, don’t let anything get in the way of your right to vote and make a difference for this country.

I’ll see you out at the polls!
Susan

In Hawaii, we have 2 very REAL disasters that have a history of striking our islands, tsunamis and hurricanes. In addition, we’re also known to have our share of earthquakes and lava flows (and I’m NOT talking about the drink!) Disaster is imminent.

Instead of living in fear, I decided to get educated and trained so that I can prepare myself to hit any one of these disasters Head On! A couple Saturdays ago I graduated from a 32 hour training course called CERT (Community Emergency Response Team) that covered: basic disaster preparedness, medical operations, light search and rescue as well as other important safety and team organizational skills required during an emergency. CERT volunteers are trained to support a community or neighborhood in an emergency and organize resources particularly where County Emergency Agencies like the Fire Department, are unable to access. Imagine if there were CERT trained volunteers available throughout the New Orleans community in Katrina!

Talk about the ultimate in Self Care education. . . THE most important thing the CERT trainers teach is during an emergency, the #1 priority is YOUR safety. Take care of yourself FIRST, and then your family and THEN your community. . . They kept hitting that point home over and over again. . . SAFETY FOR YOU FIRST!

I’ll share some of what I learned in the next couple of weeks. . .

In times of crisis, when have you found that taking care of yourself improved your ability to take care of others?

Make Happiness Yours,
Susan
To find out more about CERT in your local area, visit: www.citizencorps.gov/cert

AND HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

Anger can protect us from that which may be harmful.

The “problem” or issue of anger comes into play when people react with anger inappropriately or for manipulative and self-serving reasons; when anger becomes abusive. Oftentimes when we react “in anger” the result is a shift from anger to a feeling of guilt, resentment, embarrassment or even more anger. Then THESE emotions can feed on themselves and exacerbate the problem. Other times you might derive a sense of relief and release from the stress.

Either way, understanding your emotions and being able to process and control them is a part of Self Care. It follows that when we take care of ourselves, we are mentally and emotionally better able to address various challenges throughout our day. However, on the flip side, understanding our own patterns of emotions, especially anger, allows us to practice Self Care more fully as well.

The key is to understand where the anger is coming from, identify it and then learn how to appropriately express (or not express) that anger.

What are some ways you “manage” your anger?

Make Happiness Yours,
Susan

The first time I tried meditating, I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, . . . and fell asleep.

Now after several years of yoga practice and breath work, I’m finding that meditation comes easier, but is still quite challenging, particularly alone, in my office.

Currently I use different methods of breathing (which I’ve shared in the past), stretching and yoga to invigorate me throughout the day, but something within has inspired me to give meditation another go.

I’d like to share my experience with you:

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
I set my timer for 10 minutes and take a sip of water.
I’m sitting on my office chair with my legs crossed under me and my back straight, not touching the chair. I place my hands on my knees and look straight ahead to the wall in front of me. I look at the space right above my monitor where there is a blank area of wall.

I breathe, relaxed and not forced.

I start to notice that my vision narrows around the wall so that the only clear space I see is the purple wall. . . . time seems to stop, until the weed wacker outside starts to hum and a dog barks in the distance.

I think to myself, “Am I getting distracted?” Then I realize, NOW I am.

So I focus back on the wall, listen to all the sounds that are coming at me, feel and smell the breeze coming in. . . I feel a bit more relaxed.

Then I think “How long has it been?” . . .It feels like it’s should be 10 minutes already. . . “Don’t look at the timer. Don’t look at the timer.” Okay - just a peek. .. Only 5 minutes? Wow! Time slows down when meditating. . . .

I focus back on the wall, again, listening, feeling, allowing. . . and then suddenly “BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!” The 10 minute alarm went off.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

For some reason the second half of that 10 minutes flew by. . . and at the end of it my mind was clear and focused.

Once I got comfortable and allowed myself to be in the present, to soak in everything in that moment, what I heard, what I felt, what I thought. . . “I” allowed me to Be.

What is your meditation experience?
If it’s been a while, give meditation a chance for 5-10 minutes and then share!
What works and what doesn’t?

No instructions, just do it. . . make it what you want/need right now.

Make Happiness Yours,
Susan

Whenever I hear about more negativity in relationships, I wonder, “What is going on?”
I have a wonderful relationship with my husband, . . . well, today. . .
I say that with tongue in cheek. but more so because that’s the way relationships work - there are ups and downs; some days he’s Mr. Wonderful, other days he’s “the last straw” but EVERY day I love him and we are both committed to each other, no matter what track of the rollercoaster we happen to have fallen that day.

So, as I sat to read, I braced myself for some more negative news. . . but then, I was pleasantly surprised! Despite the stories of failing marriages we read/hear about almost daily, the national poll by PARADE showed that about 88% of people surveyed said they were “happy” or “reasonably content with their marriages.”

I love articles like this because they give a bunch of juicy statistics that I appreciate, so here are some to share:
• 80% married for love.
• 75% reported that their sex lives are reasonably fulfilling (yeah!)
• 71% chose to stay married because of “deep love.”
• 63% would try to save their marriage if a spouse was unfaithful
• 56% would definitely marry the same person again

Even the “bad” stuff doesn’t sound so bad:
• 19% of men have had sex outside of marriage (the media makes it sound more like 91%!)
• 24% have kept an important secret from their spouse
• 25% describe marital sex as either tolerable or terrible
• 31% of men have thought about leaving their wives
• 44% of women have thought about leaving their husbands

The good news is that overall, it sounds like American marriage is “sticky” and there is still plenty of love and commitment around. Now you have to wonder, “What’s up with American celebrity and their lack of commitment?” OR what’s probably more true, “Why does the media paint such a gloomy picture?”

Whatever the reason, THIS person (me) is not going to buy into the negativity (even throughout this presidential campaign!).
I like to look at the “glass half full” or rather 80% faithful marriages and 75% happy sex lives . .
What about you?

Make Happiness Yours,
Susan

1.  WRITE - This is particularly helpful if you’re NOT a writer. Simply write a letter, write in a journal or write a short one line poem. For business, come up with a tagline or jingle.

2.  READ - a magazine that is out or your usual genre or industry. Fresh ideas come from fresh places. Take a brief journey outside of your comfort zone.

3.  LEARN - something new. Take an adult continuing education class. Exercising the mind is an important component to staying sharp and innovative.

4.  DANCE - It’s amazing how powerful movement can be to your mind and soul. Put on your favorite tune and jump, move and sway to the music. See what ideas pop up in your head.

5.  PUZZLES are another great way to exercise your brain. Whether it’s a crossword, sudoku or a logic problem, this one is as easy as looking in your local paper. It is quite relaxing and may give you enough space to conjure up new thoughts and ideas.

A Personal Share:
I mentioned a couple of weeks ago that I joined a book club. The READING has gotten me excited! I have been reading a lot of mysteries lately which has definitely sparked a different way of thinking. . . it’s unleashed the “sleuth” in me!

Try one of these on some time this week and share your EXCITED experience with us!

Make Happiness Yours,
Susan

Creativity shows up with almost every decision we make each day. For example, deciding what to wear, how dishes are stacked on the shelf or what route to take to work. Each person has the ability to create, the challenge is tapping into that creativity when you want and need it.

How do you harness the power of your creative edge on demand?
GET EXCITED!

Creativity and excitement go hand in hand. Enthusiastic energy develops creativity and coming up with an original idea will often create excitement and motivation. It’s a symbiotic relationship where YOU benefit from both!

Next week I will wrap up the month with some ideas on HOW to harness your creativity and GET EXCITED.

In the meantime, share with us how YOU do it!
It may not be a conscious thing, but think about how you create some excitement and inspiration in your own life.

Make Happiness Yours,
Susan