Next is putting more effort forth.  What does that mean to you?  Does it mean devoting more of your time to this pursuit?  Does it mean telling others that you are looking to meet someone? Will you decide to spend some time on internet dating or attend two events a week in the hopes of meeting people for dating?  Will you join a support group or take a class on how to be more successful with dating and relationships?  How about employing a dating service or a relationship coach?  All this can be considered more effort!

Next, are you willing to take pen to paper (fingers to keyboard) and write a plan of action?  What does this dating plan look like to you?   How can you make this a working document and not one that sits around gathering dust?  That is the key!

Last, are you willing to try new avenues to meet people for dating and relationships?  Have you tried internet dating?  How about attending a new singles or activity group in your area or visiting a different church, temple or synagogue?  What would be considered outside the box for you?

Only you know what getting back to the business of dating means to you.  So what do you need to do to get back into the swing of things?  As the Nike ad says, “Just Do It!”

Happy Dating and Mating,

Your relationship coach,

Amy

P.S. Get the support you need to move yourself forward with your goals with the help of a relationship coach! Find out about my upcoming Get Love Right^TM tele-coaching group for fall 2008.   Go to www.GetLoveRight.com to learn more about my group and to get registered.  Limited space is available.  Sign up by September 15th and save! Mention My Compass Life and get my Dating Success Package as a bonus.

Although there are undoubtedly an endless array of variables that we cannot effect, like being hit by a bus or falling in the bathtub, do we take ownership of those things we can change? Do we use our power and even admit the cause and effect of our choices? When it comes down to it, we can actually choose to live longer, and the trade off is denial. We must admit where we are right now in order to be empowered to do things differently.

A recent issues of Forbes Magazine noted that there are currently 1.6 billion overweight adults in the world. Frighteningly, that number is projected to grow by 40% over the next 10 years. On the list of overweight nations, the United States is number NINE. By contrast, Japan is number 163. When we compare this scale to that of lifespan, it is no surprise that we find it inverted. At birth, a typical Japanese person can expect to live to be eighty-two years old. They are third on the list. Where do we fall, as Americans? We are number forty-five. Sadly, if you are born in the United States, with more advantages than anyone else in the world, you can expect to live a full four years less than your Japanese counterparts.

Four years. That may seem inconsequential when you consider that it is the difference between being 78 or 82 when you leave this life, but ask any person faced with terminal cancer what they would not give for four more years? There’s no guarantees for any of us, but let’s face it, what matters more, quality or quantity – and why not have both.

So what can you DO?

1.      Choose life. Every single day, we are able to make choices to claim those four years, one hour at a time. To begin with we can reverse our personal spot on that obesity scale. Simply refuse to be obese, and then do whatever it takes to make that a reality. There is help everywhere if you are willing to look for it. For a nation that grows fatter every year and spends more on weight-loss than the entire nation of Haiti spends on food, this may seem impossible. But this is not a theory or a runaway train – this is YOU. It is your life span and your BMI (Body Mass Index). You are not a number, you are a person – and as a person, you are gifted with free will. Every single thing you do matters. Start with small changes and get onto a roll. Remember, each day that you choose to do the right thing, you win one more day at the end of the track.

2.       Build a life worth living. In addition to making better choices, fall in love with your own life. Begin to build a life so great that you want to be here to live it.  That may mean you have to make some changes now. Some days it will feel like you’ve gone ten rounds in the ring with Mohammad Ali, but you cannot give up. There isn’t another body to crawl into when you’re finished with this one. Treating this body with self-love and gratitude is non-negotiable if you’re going to earn those extra days. And you’ll need them, a life worth living is one you won’t want to miss for a moment.  

3.      Fall in love with YOU. You are unique, in all of space and time there cannot be another you. Get to know your own deepest dreams and wishes, and honor them. Even if you cannot create them, you can love the dream itself. And who knows, if you make the right choices enough of the time, and you earn those extra four years, who knows what you might be able to accomplish? Pablo Picasso was 91 years old when he died. So paint the town red and strive to live inside your body and be around to love YOU as long as possible!

To your health, Laura Fenamore, Body Image Mastery Mentor
www.LauraFenamore.com

Some people think they’re CRAZY!
I think they’re AMAZING!

Based on my own experience with open water swimming - it is NOT easy.
You have to contend with the waves, the current, the wind and the depth (which personally freaks me out!). And then there are the critters (like sharks) that you hope won’t come up from under you and say “hello.”

Swimming the Channel is not only a physical challenge, it is definitely a MENTAL one as well.

Watching the Olympics last month, I saw this phenomenon happening again and again. . .

So this post is simply to say “You ROCK!”
To anyone that has faced their fear and beat it.
To anyone that has beaten the odds.
To anyone that has done something that many others are unwilling to do.
To anyone that has been called crazy and persevered.
To anyone that has overcome a physical challenge with mental strength.

You TOTALLY ROCK!
You’re a HERO!
And an INSPIRATION.

With Thanks,
Susan

It all started with a perfectly innocent question from my husband. “Honey, can we compare our calendars, I have some things I want to schedule and I’d like your input?” Happily I agreed and pulled my chair up to engage in the conversation.

After looking at the fullness of my husbands schedule and realizing he still had MORE he wanted to fit in, I responded, “Hey, what about some quality weekend time for us?” With an exasperated look he retorted, “what do you mean?” I could feel our defense postures setting in as predictable as night and day. We launched into an ever-escalating exchange.

The phone rang interrupting our conversation. I was called away to deal with a pressing matter. Afterwards I began to think about the interaction with my husband and wondered why I was so tweaked. Then it hit me.

All he did was simply ask me to look at the calendar with him! I was the one who made his request mean he preferred everything else to spending time with me.  With out even being aware of it I started telling myself all kinds of stories about what I thought he meant which made me upset. Unsurprisingly, I soon realized the source of those thoughts: fear and lack.

Later, when we resumed the conversation I was able to share these new thoughts. It was like hitting the refresh button on my computer. It felt great to acknowledge my own “stuff” and hear his original intent for the conversation. 

We as human beings are “meaning making machines”. It’s what we do best. We make meaning out of everything. If you look at the universe, unto itself, there is no inherent “meaning”. A tree is simply a tree standing in the middle of a field. You fill in the rest, it’s beautiful, or it’s diseased, it needs to be saved etc.  In fact, it’s our job as people to tell stories and create meaning.

Here are some common examples of how we create needless pain for ourselves.

I was talking with a client who was telling me about her boyfriend not wanting to drive with her to pick up a friend at the airport. She made it mean that he didn’t want the friend to come at all.

Another client was upset because her friend cancelled a lunch date without apparent reason. She made it mean the friend didn’t like her.

My friend flew into a panic attack because his boss called him into the office in the middle of the workday. He was convinced he was about to be fired.

What do you make things mean in your life? Do you automatically jump to the “conclusion” that proves the worst about yourself? Here are some tips for staying in the present moment when confronted with a potentially “button pushing” situation.

1. When faced with an emotional reaction get in the habit of asking yourself,  “What am I making this mean”? Stop the freight train of your thoughts and look for another option.

2. Connect with reality. Offer yourself the gift of truth. Is it true that “X “ will happen? Can I really know what I’m perceiving and concluding is the only possibility?
 
3. Consider shifting from a limited view of yourself. Focus on what’s positive, larger and perhaps more true about you. Let go of the negative self-talk.

Once you eliminate the endless mind loops of fear and self-doubt that come from second-guessing, from making meaning without the facts you free up your energy. Can you imagine how this could improve your relationships? How much more peaceful your world could be?

What would you rather be doing with your time? Personally, I’d rather have that quality weekend time with my husband.

It’s your life…imagine the possibilities!

Here are just a few of the dozens of answers we received…

• To offer hope and show others how to explore every opportunity
• To providing dignity and respect to seniors of all ages
• To empower women to live their life by design—not by accident
  

One of the 10 mindsets for success that we teach entrepreneurs at the AWE is to serve others. From the many e-mails I received last week regarding “your purpose”, it is evident that you get how important this mindset is.

The “thing” is—when you serve others, you naturally attract individuals who will help you solve problems and create positive change in the world. Here’s a simple success formula for you to remember:

Purpose + Passion To Serve + Leverage = Success

The summer gives me a sense of freedom, lightness with little or no pressure.  Whatever gets done gets done!  If not, it will eventually get done.  How about you?  How have you treated your dating life this summer?  Have you just taken it easy and said, “Que Sera Sera”?

Today, the day after Labor Day, how do you feel about your dating life and finding a committed long term relationship?   Do you feel a bit more serious?  Do you imagine yourself behind the desk ready for the task of finding that committed long term relationship?  What will it take for you to get back into the swing of things?  Are you more focused and determined now that the summer is technically over?

This month we will explore together getting back into the swing of dating.  For many, you have taken the summer off.  Others you may have been busy dating, but have not been so focused with the intention of having a committed long term relationship.  Are you ready to get serious and back into the swing of dating?  If so, come back to my blog to learn what it takes to date successfully.

Happy Dating and Mating,

Your relationship coach,

Coach Amy

P.S. Get the support you need to move yourself forward with your goals with the help of a relationship coach! Find out about my upcoming Get Love Right^TM tele-coaching group for fall 2008.   Go to www.GetLoveRight.com to learn more about my group and to get registered.  Limited space is available.  Sign up by September 15th and save!

You want to do something that speaks to you. Intuition does help but sometimes you just can’t hear the voice that tells you exactly what you are here on earth to do. You need a change but don’t know where to begin. 

Start with looking deep within yourself. Explore what REALLY brings happiness.

Try this. Ask yourself the following questions:

Do you LOVE your life?

Do you even LIKE your life?

What do you enjoy doing at work?

What do you enjoy doing in your leisure?

Why do I enjoy the following activities/aspects of my work/leisure life?

Honing in on the reasons behind what you enjoy is powerful. It tells you what you are truly passionate about.

Meri was feeling like she was in rut. She was not happy with her finance job and desperately wanted to look for a new one. Even though money was tight, she was considering quitting her current job before she even found a new job. 

When I first met her, Meri described herself as feeling stuck. By asking herself the above questions, she was able to see that she had options. That gave her power. She realized that she did not need a TOTAL change, but that she was actually interested in dealing with people rather than numbers.

It was a beautiful moment when she realized that she could explore opportunities within the marketing department of her current company. She took action and was able to find renewal. There was no BIG change required.

Sometimes all it takes to bring a twinkle back to your eyes is to make a shift.

To Your Fulfillment,

Cara

The dirty little secret is that most of them don’t distribute
anything.  They simply park your press release at their website,
where the search engines might or might not find it.

For example, let’s say you sell patio furniture.  You write a
press release about how to care for patio furniture and you
submit it to one of those freebie sites.  If somebody is
searching online for “patio furniture,” there’s a good chance
your press release won’t show up on the list because it isn’t in
the Google or Yahoo news feeds.

Even worse, if you submit a press release to their service then
suddenly discover it includes an error that you need to correct,
there’s usually no way to correct it because there’s no customer
service number you can call.  Disastrous!

In my free email tutorial on how to write a press release, I
recommend two services that I’ve used: PRWeb and News Release
Wire, which you get when you subscribe to Expertclick: The Online
Yearbook of Experts.  An Expertclick subscription lets you post
up to 52 press releases a year.

Consider these facts:

• Men are more than five times more likely to negotiate a first salary than women
• Women still only earn 77 cents to every man’s dollar - That means we take home $77 for every $100 a man takes home
• By not negotiating a first salary, women stand to lose more than a half a million dollars by age 60
Part 1:  Don’t Let Resentments Fester

When women neglect to negotiate salary, they often regret it later.  This can lead to discontentment and even resentment on the job.  Consider the following story of one of my clients. 

Meredith is a Marketing Consultant in Brooklyn.  She hired me to help her formulate her strategic career plan as well as to develop more assertive communication skills.

When her annual salary and contract negotiations were coming up, she felt many conflicting emotions.  On one hand, Meredith wanted to receive a significant pay increase - especially in light of the fact that a new consultant had just been brought on board at a higher rate than her.  On the other hand, salary discussions - or any negotiation conversation for that matter - made her very uncomfortable.  Her usual knee-jerk reaction was to avoid them altogether.  

Meredith was feeling resentful that others at the firm were making more money.  If she didn’t ask for an increase, she knew the resentment would fester.  She had seen this destructive pattern in herself before. 

I coached Meredith on what to say and how to say it.  Through our work together, she gained the courage to have the difficult conversation and stand her ground.  As a result, she negotiated a twelve percent salary increase! 

I share this story because it is one that many women can relate to on a very personal level.  Meredith’s conflicting emotions and challenges may feel all too familiar to you.  Often times, women want to ask for a pay increase but on the other hand, they want to avoid any type of interaction that could potentially feel contentious or uncomfortable. 

These conflicting emotions create an unhealthy and vicious cycle.  More likely than not, if you don’t address the issue head-on, resentment will build inside you.  These toxic emotions can eat away at you and cause you to feel disengaged and unmotivated.  The intense frustration may even cause you to lash out at colleagues and co-workers at inappropriate times. 

Rather than avoiding difficult conversations, I encourage you to address them directly.  You’ll feel better when you live and act according to your own truth, rather than shrinking from the opportunity to fully express yourself. 

In the next edition of my blog, which will be published next Monday, I’ll provide more salary negotiation tips.  Please check back this upcoming Monday, September 8th. 

To learn more about career development tele-classes for professional women, please visit my website www.MaretMcCoy.com for updated class information!

Until next week - Here’s to your continued success,
Maret

activities without considering how much of it is healthy. Some do it

because they understand that an enrichment activity can turn into a

life-long joy. Others do it because they have a need for their kids to

be achievers, to be better or smarter than their classmates.

It’s not unusual for kids to take piano, soccer, and whatever else is

currently in vogue. We live in a society where we are led to believe that

accomplishment is king without making sure that we teach our kids the

value of spontaneous free time. This playtime can be sitting in a comfy

chair imagining, writing a poem, observing a sunset or watching the

leaves dance in the wind.

Numerous recent studies point to the benefits of unstructured play or

downtime. With it, kids are more likely to activate their creativity,

identify their natural talents and interests, develop problem-solving

skills, and have better relationships with others.

Social pressure by other parents can contribute to pushing our kids into

being active. To determine whether your preteen or teen is overscheduled

consider these indicators:

•  Your teen is scheduled from early morning until bed time
•  Your teen is always doing something with no down time
•  Your teen would rather do an activity than hang out with friends
•  Your teen quickly gets bored without having something specific to do

Kids that don’t know what to do with themselves when there’s nothing

scheduled or who are so overstimulated that they have trouble sleeping

could be suffering from overscheduling. Being overscheduled can lead

to creating unnecessary stress for both parents and teens. According

to the Academy of Pediatrics, in many children, the lack of sufficient

playtime can also lead to depression.

Harmony between activity and spontaneous play (or rest) is the key.

Thats when activities can be rewarding for parents and kids.

My best,

Barbara

www.teenfrontier.com