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Blogs
Coco Fossland

What Led Me To The 3-Month Simplicity Experiment?

August 1st, 2009
Coco Fossland

Along my journey, I’m forever observing what is happening in both my inner and outer world. I take time daily to observe how I feel, notice the general language of the thoughts passing through my mind, and my relationship with the overall state of my external world — the mirror of my internal world. I began to observe a pattern I seem to create over and over again in my life.

A pattern that looks something like this:

  • I get deeply inspired about a project or idea
  • I immerse myself fully and completely and follow the natural flow of creative energy
  • In the interest of keeping the energy and feeling going, I put in place structures and commitments
  • I begin to feel overwhelmed with the structures and commitments
  • I keep going and doing, going and doing, but somewhere along the journey, my connection to the natural flow of creative energy gets lost
  • I revert to will as my method of continuing to “get things done”
  • I feel exhausted and tired
  • My external world shows signs of challenge and struggle
  • I keep pushing
  • Something happens that pushes me beyond my limits so I will finally slow down and cry “UNCLE!

A few weeks ago, I found myself at the tail-end of this process, feeling drained of any true creative energy. And while I could have kept pushing what felt like an enormous boulder up Mt. Everest (after all, I have the will to do anything!), I found myself wondering, “Is there a better way?”

What most intrigued me was observing the presence and absence of that natural creative energy along my path. Some moments I am flooded with that inspired, creative flow, while other times it’s like taking blood from a stone.

Wisdom has been telling me for years and years that to live on one’s Authentic Success Path, one must honor the natural flow of one’s creative energy. I could feel with absolute knowing that to create from any other place is actually counter-productive. To create from will or force will actually head a person in the opposite direction of their success, fulfillment, and desire.

And yet, here I was, doing exactly what I knew from a deep, wise place within me, DOES NOT WORK.

Why Would I Do Something What Does Not Work?

Why would I continue to force and will success, when I know, deep down, that it doesn’t work? Well, I began looking at this question recently. And I’ve discovered that for me, anyway, the reasons are rooted in old limiting beliefs I hold about “what’s responsible,” “how success is made,” and “what productive creation looks like.” These old, limiting beliefs keep me on the hamster wheel of will power, rather than honoring the more natural ebb and flow of authentic creation.

My old limiting beliefs about what it means to be a responsible, well-respected contributing member of society said…

  • I have to work hard and long, because that’s what “good” people do
  • You must work at least 9 to 5 every day, Monday through Friday, and more than 2 weeks of vacation per year is self-indulgent and bad
  • You can’t make a million dollars a year moving slowly and easily
  • It is bad to take time for myself, especially when I’m paying the nanny to take care of the kids
  • My husband, friends, and family all work 9 to 5 and deal with it, so I should have to also
  • I’m just being lazy and selfish wanting more time to myself to rest, replenish and have fun

My old limiting beliefs about how success is made said…

  • You have to use your mind, not your heart
  • It’s normal to be overwhelmed and filled with anxiety
  • You’re weak if you can’t tolerate a lot of balls in the air
  • You have to create products and programs that your customers will like, even if certain aspects of the programs run counter to your own creative rhythm
  • You have to be completely available to everyone all the time
  • What you have can’t be enough — success is forever about wanting MORE
  • I should do and be more like the “successful people” I see out there in the field, even if doing and being like them feels inauthentic and frenetic to me
  • Businesses run constantly, without breaks in the year. That’s just how it’s done.
  • You have to operate from a thoroughly laid out plan all the time
  • You have to do things even if you don’t feel like it
  • As a small business owner, you have to do everything yourself
  • Customers will leave if I try to run my business in a non-traditional way
  • I have to do everything possible to avoid prospects and customers leaving me
  • I can’t charge too much money for my services or people won’t like me
  • I can’t charge what my service are truly worth, because I think my audience can’t afford those rates

My old limiting beliefs about what creation looks like said…

  • Creation is about sitting down and doing
  • Doing nothing or taking a nap is the opposite of creation — it is avoidance and laziness
  • I can will myself into feeling inspired
  • I should be creative all the time — there should never, ever be lapses in my creativity - if there are then I need to do something to change it right away
  • I always have to be actively creating something
  • There is something wrong with me if I don’t feel creative or inspired
  • I must be depressed if I don’t feel inspired
  • Sometimes you just have to force creation

And I have to say, I was surprised to see how strongly some of these beliefs were (still are) operating for me. Even though I’d been trying to live a life that in many ways challenges these beliefs, another righeous part of me was still irreverent about these thoughts.

All these thoughts kept me on the hamster wheel of will power, even when my inner guidance was begging me to “slow down,” “take a rest,” and “honor your creative cycle.”

But that’s not all that was keeping me from listening to my wisdom. Something much bigger was operating.

My Business Was Keeping Me From My BIG-ness

While all my limiting beliefs provided the perfect rational web of deceit to stay on the hamster wheel of will power, something much bigger was operating below the surface, where a clash of the titans were duking it out.

On one side lives my Higher Self, who longs for me to connect to inner guidance and live from the prosperous flow of universal love, balance, and wisdom.

On the other side lives my Resistant Self, who longs to keep my life exactly as it is following the old codes of habit and limitation.

My Higher Self is the harbinger of great change — change that forces my ego to let go and find a new way to identify itself beyond being a “hard worker,” “prolific creator,” and “awesome doer.”

My Resistant Self is terrified of the new winds being brought forth by my Higher Self. My Resistant Self holds on tightly to working hard, working long, and staying small. My Resistant Self is terrified of the waiting period between letting go and allowing the net to appear; overwhelmed by the fear that others may judge me as lazy, irresponsible, or unprofessional; and utterly paralyzed by the lingering sense of responsibility of playing a bigger game — a game too big to engage in busy-ness on such a small scale.

The 3-Month Simplicity Experiment Helps Break The Old Habits

Thus, to challenge the voices of my Resistant Self, I could clearly see that I needed to do something radical. I needed to give the wisdom of my Higher Self space to be heard. The 3-Month Simplicity Experiment is just that — it is a structure that holds the space for my Higher Self to dance, explore, and create into my life.

I’m already noticing how living life this way is adding fuel and strength to the voice of my Higher Self. And because the changes I’m seeing are aligned with the wisdom I’ve been hearing for years, it is giving me new experiences to counter the compelling views of my Resistant Self.

Would You Like To Join Me?

If the 3-Month Simplicity Experiment sounds inspiring to you, I invite you to join me on the journey. You’ll find more details on how to participate in my last blog post. And feel free to post your ideas, observations, commitments, and discoveries here on my blog.

Blogs
Coco Fossland

3-Month Simplicity Experiment

July 27th, 2009
Coco Fossland

As you may have read in my last WorldChanging eZine, I decided to engage in a three month exercise of “clearing the decks” and making space for the new. Wow, has it been amazing so far, albeit peppered with moments of total fear that I must be crazy taking so much time “doing nothing.”

I thought I’d share with you some of the insights, experiences, and challenges that have shown up along my journey, and if you’re interested, I’d be honored if you’d join me on this 3 Month Simplicity Experiment.

What Is the 3-Month Simplicity Experiment?

Here are the basic rules I’ve set forth for myself for the next 3 months (I’m already a month into the experiment):

#1 - Eliminate everything from your schedule that isn’t fully aligned with desire.

This step has been HUGE for me. I did an inventory of all my activities and commitments and asked myself, “On a scale of 1 to 10, how much joy does this activity bring me?” I agreed with myself that anything that rates below an 8 has to go. I noticed that much of what I’ve been doing fell well below the level 8. I realized that much of my life was not spent feeling inspiration and pleasure, but rather, obligation and pressure.

Once you identify all the activities that are not bringing you inspiration, it’s time to find ways to eliminate them from your life. At first, it might seem impossible to stop doing some of the things on your list, and while it make take some time to disentangle yourself from some of the items on your list, know that most of them can be eliminated within a few days, if you make the powerful choice to do so.

To eliminate uninspiring activities from your list, you can…

  • Choose to let go of the activity all together. In my own experience, I discovered I had committed to activities that at one time were benefiting me in some way, but over time had lost their joy and purpose. Simply choose to let these types of activities go. For me, this included certain networking activities, mastermind groups, and certain marketing activities.
  • Choose to delegate the necessities that you don’t enjoy doing. If you are like me, much of what you do could be delegated to someone else — washing dishes, bookkeeping, editing and publishing your ezine, cooking dinner, scheduling client sessions, and running payroll don’t have to be done by you. Find ways to delegate to others what you aren’t totally inspired to do.
  • Establish boundaries that foster joy with yourself and others. Over the last month, I’ve discovered that there are examples of things that I love to do, that I do too much, which turns a labor of love into a labor of resentment. For example, I love giving teleclasses to my communitity, but giving three per week is too much. And I love coaching people, but every day all day leaves me drained and exhausted. Where are you out of balance? Which activities are you doing too much of? Which activities are overwhelming and exhausting you?

#2 - Add at least one day per week of free, unscheduled, time for creative play.

Literally, go to your calendar and mark one day each week for the next three months as your “Creative Play Day.” Creative Play Days are designed to take you into inspiration, pleasure, joy, nurturance, and bliss. They are designed to help refill your creative coffers. They are food for your creativity.

The idea is to have a day of unscheduled creative play. Here are some examples of Creative Play Days I’ve had so far…

  • On my first creative play day, I started the day by going to a dance class, followed by a long, slow walk through Central Park, and lunch at an outdoor cafe. I sat for two hours reading a fiction book (had NOTHING to do with work; it was just something I longed to read). And then I went home and took a nap. Ahhhh…..
  • On another creative play day, I again went to a dance class, followed by a hot bath, and then a trip to the Metropolitan Museum of Art. I then met some friends for the Philharmonic in Central Park. We had a spread of wine, cheese, fruit, pate, and pasteries… Heaven.
  • One day, I was inspired to put into action a book I’d read a while back, How To Double Your Income Doing What You Love. It was so much fun creating a plan for my life and business following this fun, inspiring process. I did part of it while at one of my favorite cafes, and the rest of it laying on the blanket in the sun.
  • On another day, I felt tired and needing some R&R. I scheduled a manicure, pedicure, and massage, and afterwards, went to a movie and ate popcorn. It was wonderful.

The key is to hear your desire, and to follow it.

So far, I’ve found these days to be most inspiring. I’m stunned by the inspiration, wisdom, and ideas that come from these Creative Play Days. I’ve also noticed a huge surge in energy the day after a Creative Play Day. I’m finding I have so much more to give to my clients and students when my cup is full. And I have so much new wisdom to offer. It has been tremendous.

Through these Creative Play Days I’m now starting to truly witness and experience what my wisdom has been telling me for years — LESS IS MORE!! I’m also starting to really sense what I want and need, rather than just telling myself what to do all day every day. It is offering a profound shift in myrelationship with myself — a shift toward respect and harmony, rather than force and obedience.

#3 - Take a break from will power.

My will power is truly one of my greatest gifts. I’m certain that with my will (and I have a lot of it), I can do anything.

The trouble is that I tend to overuse will power. Will power is meant to be a tool one can use in very specific moments. But it shouldn’t be used all day every day, as many of us do. Doing things because you’ve told yourself you have to keeps you not only void of joy, but also shut off from the vast, powerful sea of creative flow.

For the 3-Month Simplicity Experiment, I invite you to go bold and give up will power. There are a few places that you might elect to use will power — but make sure you keep your use of will power to these purposes:

  1. You might use your will power for the purpose of honoring your decision to try out simplicity and peace for 3 months. (You might have to will yourself to sit down and relax, stop multitasking, and listen from within.)
  2. You might use your will power to honor your Creative Play Days (it might take will to keep yourself from turning your Creative Play Day into a regular work day).
  3. You might use your will power to eliminate activities that don’t rate at a joy level 8 or higher. (We tend to be adicted to our old ways of doing things. Will power can gently help you overcome your addictions.)
  4. You might use your will power to let go of any old thoughts taking you away from your bliss. (You can gently remind yourself that a day at the beach is NOT self-indulgent, but rather is exactly what’s needed to nurture your creative soil.)
  5. You might use your will power to move self-care to the top of your list of priorities. (Your gentle will can help you put on your sneakers and get you out to the park to finally take that walk you’ve needed.)

Don’t use will power for anything else during these 3-months. Just take a break from will power for these few months. It’ll be there waiting for you afterwards.


#4 - Follow your bliss and notice your desire.

By eliminating joyless activities, taking Creativity Play Days, and taking a break from will power, you’ll start to open up some space in your days. Space where you might feel a moment of confusion about what to do with yourself. Space that was formerly occupied by old activities, habits, and responsibilities is now a clear canvas for you to paint on as you like.

This is the space where you will start to get to know you. You’ll start to discover your desires, urges, impulses, and needs. You’ll be able to detect longings that were long ago shut off from you, because there was no open receptor to receive them.

Your Creative Play Days are intended to be a beautiful, dedicated space for you to practice following your bliss and noticing your desires, but allow this practice to spill beyond your Creative Play Days and into every day.

Following your bliss might look like…

  • Feeling the urge to see a movie, and going right away to the theater
  • Sensing the need for a nap, and finding a soft down pillow to lay your head on
  • Wanting to explore an idea, and settling down with your journal to see where it takes you
  • Longing for connection and community, and heading to Omega Institute

It’s all about being present to the urges of the moment, and taking action that follows the urge.

While “following your bliss” is a practice of action, “notcing your desires” is a practice of reflection.

The practice of “noticing your desires,” asks you to observe yourself. For example, here are some things I’ve noticed personally about my desires:

  • I love quite, solitary spaces where I can be free to explore the depths of me uninterrupted
  • I love heart-felt connection with my community
  • I love to write about transformation, creation, and success — pure bliss
  • I am moved and inspired by people who have the audactiy to believe they can (and do) make a difference in the world
  • I need time where my husband and I can be alone just the two of us
  • I love beautiful things — art, clothing, gardens, landscapes — and the more I am in beauty, the more at peace I feel
  • After a long day, I LOVE watching a cheesy sitcom on television — it brings me pure joy

#5 - Discover your Authentic Creativity Cycle.

Steps #1 through #4 will provide the space for you to discover your Authentic Creative Cycle. Your Authentic Creative Cycle is the natural ebb and flow of creative inspiration for you. We all move in cycles, and yet, without awareness of what our cycles are, or the needs we yearn for during different phases of our cycles, we might live our lives dishonoring our authenticity. We might not give ourselves what we need, when we need it.

A classic example of a cycle that must be honored, or trouble can certainly begin, is the cycle of gestation and birth. For humans, the 40 week gestational period is filled with cycles. Some break it down into three trimesters. For many women, the first trimester is a time when the body is going through tremendous homonal fluctuations as the body prepares for the new fetus within. Women observe a variety of symptoms and needs during this phase — exhaustion, nausea, loss of appetite, increased appetite, craving of certain foods or smells, rejection of other foods and smells. Imagine if a woman in her first trimester feeling completely exhausted, nauseous, and sickened by the smell of fish were to agree to give an overnight party at a fish market. That would be crazy, right?

But we make horrific choices all the time that don’t honor our creative cycles. We schedule things when we are tired. We present in formats that don’t agree with our spirit. We do things that feel disagreeable to our senses. We are like the exhaused, nauseous, fish-hating woman giving an overnight party at a fish market. By living this way, we do three things that keep us from success, prosperity, and all that we desire:

  1. We make ourselves sick.
  2. We dishonor whatever is trying to gestate within us.
  3. We abandon the natural instructions being fed to us, leading to a healthy and complete birth of something we will deeply cherish and love.

This is why it’s important for you to discover and embrace your Authentic Creativity Cycle. To discover your Authentic Creativity Cycle, consider these questions:

  • What does your Authentic Creativity Cycle look like?
  • What are the stages or phases of your Authentic Creativity Cycle?
  • What do you need at each of those phases? What will be nurturing to you and your creativity?
  • Do you tend to be creative in short or long bursts? When working on a project, do you naturally prefer to complete the project little bits at a time with lots of breaks? Or do you naturally prefer to dive in head first and not come out until you’re complete? An how long are those bursts for you, ideally?
  • How much rest do you need? Are there times when you tend to function best on less rest or more rest?
  • Do you prefer to work on one project at a time, or do you stay more inspired moving between projects throughout a given day/week/month?

Most of us (myself included until now), have been completely disconnected from our Authentic Creativity Cycles. Rather, we have tried (mostly through will power) to adapt to the creative cycle given to us by society, which for those of us living in the U.S. looks something like this:

  • You work 9-6 Monday through Friday
  • You get weekends off
  • You get 2 weeks vacation per year
  • Working hard and being busy result in successful creation
  • Eat three meals per day, with dinner generally being the biggest meals
  • Exercise twice each week
  • Sleep 6-8 hours each night (the less you sleep the more busy you must be, and therefore the more successful you are at creating you must be)
  • Do somthing fun and inspiring twice each month
  • Take time for yourself three hours per month

What I’m learning is that my Authentic Creativity Cycle is nothing AT ALL like the standard creative cycle given to us here in the U.S. I’m still exploring mine, but for me personally, I am seeing it looks more l ike this…

  • I am a focused creator, meaning I work best with few distractions
  • Multi-tasking is disruptive to my natural creative process
  • I tend to create very intensely without breaks for many hours at a time, going over many days, and even weeks
  • An ideal work week for me includes 1-2 days of uninterupted creative work by myself; 1 day coaching or connecting with others all day long with a few brief breaks; 1-2 days Creative Play; 1 day of administration.
  • I typically have intense creative cycles that last 2-3 months; these are perfect times for me to complete projects (books, programs, products, client assignments, etc.). During these times, my work week time shifts towards this project, aligning Creative Play Days toward the manifestation of the current creation.
  • After an intense 2-3 month creative cycle, I need 2-3 months of downtime, where I take a few weeks off all together, and I shift into more Creative Play during the weeks that I choose to “work.”
  • After intensie periods of creativity, I need long periods of uniterupted rest and play
  • In general, distractions of any kind are very upsetting to me
  • I need lots of sleep (9-10 hours and sometimes more)
  • Exercise in the morning boosts my energy and brings me into my creative center — exercise is essential for my creativity to flourish
  • Connecting daily to my inner wisdom is essential to staying aligned and connected with the natural flow of creative energy coming i and through me
  • Being in a beautiful environment is very nurturing to me - having plants, music, paintings, etc. are very important components of my creativity
  • Maintaining a healthy body with fresh fruits, veggies, and lean meats gives me energy and strength
  • Looking and feeling beautiful inspires me — it helps me feel that I am living the beautiful life that I dream of — having manicured hands and feet, groomed hair, and feminine, flattering clothing allows me to feel like the woman I’m here to be — and this is essential for my creativity

This is what I’ve learned so far about my Authentic Creativity Cycle. I’m sure I’ll continue to discover more as time goes on. And I also sense that one’s Authentic Creativity Cycle changes over time, so paying close attention to it always, is essential ongoing.

Are You Willing To Participate?

If the 3 Month Simplicity Experiment calls to you, please share your comments, questions, and observations here on my blog.

Blogs
Megan Raphael

Courage to See With A Gardener’s Eyes

June 29th, 2009
Megan Raphael

I confess, I don’t like gardening.

I love beautiful gardens and admire the wizardry of others with green thumbs. I am moved by the sights, smells and colors of peonies, irises and roses. And I feel deeply grateful I am the lucky beneficiary of someone – my husband – who loves gardening and has created a backyard that brings me tremendous peace and pleasure.

When it comes to me doing gardening, however, I’ve just never found the delight in it that so many others have. It feels like heresy to say, but it’s true…I get bored by the tedious, backbreaking, dirt-under-the-nails tasks that gardening entails. Give me a good book and a lounger any day and I’m happy.

I do appreciate the process of gardening, though, and the natural, cyclical nature of it especially in light of some recent happenings in my life.

As some of my blogs have revealed, this past winter and spring have been challenging for me. Oh sure, our long cold winter was a contributing factor but there was more to it. I found myself in a dark place, confused about the direction and purpose of my business, and unclear where I wanted to go. I felt tired and uninspired. I couldn’t seem to get the clarity and creativity I needed.

So, I got smart, left the comfort (and confinement) of my office, and sought out others’ help and ideas. I talked to colleagues and friends. I turned to my local SCORE office (SCORE is a free service run by Small Business Administration and provides business development services by highly experienced and skilled retired executives and entrepreneurs. Offices are in cities around the U.S. http://www.sba.gov), and did a lot of reading.

Most importantly, I followed the energy. I paid attention and whenever I felt a stirring of interest or a spark of excitement I explored that trail a bit more. Sometimes it turned into a dead end, but there were a few paths that opened up more and more possibilities in my mind. It’s taken me four or five months to get to a new place in my thinking about my business, but I can feel the juices flowing again.

It hasn’t been easy. I’ve found myself frequently impatient and scared…doubting that I would ever leave the darkness. Yet, now that I’m feeling the growth and the light is beginning to dawn, I know how important the past few months have been in preparing me for now.

Isn’t that what gardening is all about? There’s a natural cycle of growth, and even when, in the middle of winter and darkness, nothing appears to be happening, so much is. We think things are dead and stagnating, yet underneath the surface the seeds are experiencing momentous changes. And they, in fact, need the dark, fallow times in order to develop and grow.

It takes courage, I believe, to trust this process. To accept the ebb and flow of the growth cycle, as gardeners accept the seasonal needs of their plants. It takes courage to understand that even in times of darkness, amazing, wonderful new ideas and energy are quietly developing under the surface…and they will sprout eventually.

Be courageous!

Warmly,

Megan

Blogs
Dr. Cara Alana

A Change of Scenery To Gain Clarity

December 16th, 2008
Dr. Cara Alana

Last year I spent half of the year in Hawaii. I know that the gorgeous sunsets, the vast Pacific, the emerald mountains and the amazing rainbows I saw each and every day allowed me to pause and reflect on the amazing beauty of the islands. Yet, it something different that stirred emotions and feelings. It was the change in scenery and lifestyle that awoke ideas within me and sparked my creativity. (more…)

Blogs
Susan Kim

Harness Your Power of Creativity

September 23rd, 2008
Susan Kim

EVERYONE is creative in some way; it just manifests itself in differently in each of us. Some create beauty through the arts, others bring a fresh innovative idea to business and still others have an intuitive knack for coming up with an original solution to conflict.

Creativity shows up with almost every decision we make each day. For example, deciding what to wear, how dishes are stacked on the shelf or what route to take to work. Each person has the ability to create, the challenge is tapping into that creativity when you want and need it. (more…)

CoachCasts™
Anne Paris

Immerse Yourself in the Creative Process!

May 20th, 2008
Anne Paris

If you are a creative person seeking encouragement, support, and inspiration to start—or finish your greatest projects, this is the class for you. Psychologist Anne Paris will explain how creative blocks and procrastinations are normal (more…)

Blogs
Dr. Cara Alana

Creating An Environment For Your BIG Dream To Thrive ~ Part 1

May 19th, 2008
Dr. Cara Alana

Your physical BIG dream space can be like a magical haven, a place to create, fill up and expand into. Ideally, it’s filled with beautiful things that inspire you, and it’s free of any distractions that divide your attention.

It’s a place where you can mind can slow down and let your heart take the lead, a place where you have permission to play. (more…)

Blogs
Sheri McConnell

10 Mindsets Women Entrepreneurs Must Have To Succeed

May 12th, 2008
Sheri McConnell

Entrepreneurship is a dynamic process of creating incremental wealth. Entrepreneurs willingly take part in the process of creating something new that has value by devoting time and effort and assuming the financial, psychic, and social risks. Luckily, we, as entrepreneurs also receive the resulting rewards of independence, (more…)

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