Get Inspired with Compass On-Demand

We offer solutions for women that encourage, guide and inspire fulfilling lives.

Blogs
Kim Fulcher

Week Twenty: Evaluate Opportunities

August 10th, 2009
Kim Fulcher

Welcome back to the Remodel Your Reality Challenge!  A key part of time and schedule management is the clear-minded evaluation of the opportunities that come your way. Ideally, your priorities will help you make decisions about what to commit your time to. When considering a new opportunity, evaluate whether or not the invitation sounds interesting to you. If it doesn’t, reserve the right to say no!

One Thing To Think About
There are two keys to keeping your opportunity load on track and reflecting your priorities:

  1. Reserve the Right to Think About It – Instead of immediately agreeing or saying no to any type of invitation you receive, decide that you will not commit to anything on the spot. Instead, when you receive a request or invitation, let the requester know that you’ll need to check your schedule and get back to him or her. This allows you to thoughtfully evaluate the situation and provides you with a buffer in the event that you decide to decline.
  2. Do Away with Elaborate Excuses – Remember this maxim from the Oprah Winfrey show: “No is a complete sentence.” The next time someone asks you to take on a project or attend an event that doesn’t support your priorities, simply respond with “No, I can’t do that, but thank you for thinking of me.” Breathe deeply to quiet your thundering heart and move on to another topic of conversation.

One Question To Answer
When considering a commitment or opportunity, ask yourself these questions: Does this opportunity fit in with my priorities? If not, does it detract from them? If you feel that the opportunity fits within your priorities, and it’s interesting, consider committing yourself. Make sure to understand why you find the opportunity exciting, and clarify any expectations the inviting party will have of you once you throw your hat into the ring.

One Challenge To Take
Pledge yourself from a clear and positive place. If you feel any misgivings about saying yes, stop! From this point on, decide that you will only make commitments that compliment your priorities and feel good to you.

  • Identify at least five commitments or scheduled activities that are wasting your valuable time. Examples could include volunteering for an organization you no longer enjoy, running errands for others, attending social events with people you don’t care for, participating in water cooler gossip, or failing to commit your day to activities that are important to you.
  • Name your alternative. Could one of your priority areas move into the timeslot that one of your time wasters currently occupies? List the five commitments you would prefer to make in place of your current time wasters.
  • Conclude your commitment to non-priority activities. If the item is a one-time engagement, contact the host or requestor and let him or her know you have a conflict. If your commitment is ongoing in nature, let your contact person know you cannot participate any longer.
  • Schedule something from your priority list into the open time that appears as a result of allowing yourself to say no.

Every time you make a decision to say yes to one thing, you are saying no to multiple others simultaneously. You may not be aware of this, but it is fact. Until you are able to say no to the demands and requests of others, you will never be able to say yes to you.

Ultimately, it is better to disappoint the requester whom you will not remember forty years from now, than to look back at your life and realize that the person you disappointed was yourself.

Until next time, take care!
Kim

Blogs
Kim Fulcher

Week Nineteen: Rules of Time Management

August 3rd, 2009
Kim Fulcher

Welcome back to the Remodel Your Reality Challenge!  Time management is a subject that many women struggle with. In the Remodel Your Reality program, there are four rules to effective and empowering time management: Be Authentic, Place Yourself on Your List, Know Your Own Worth, and Say Goodbye to Takers.

One Thing To Think About

You will succeed or fail at time management based on your willingness to consistently invest your time in support of the priorities you’ve established. This becomes possible when you remove requests and commitments that fall outside of your priority structure. In short, this means you’re going to have to get very good at saying the dreaded “n” word—no.

One Question To Answer
Do you have trouble saying no to others? Due to the desire to avoid disappointing others and their aversion to feeling uncomfortable, many women do. To preserve your time for things that matter to you, you must be willing to experience temporary discomfort. This requires dedication to the focused management of your schedule and calls for you to develop the courage to risk upsetting or disappointing others.

One Challenge To Take
Integrate the Four Rules of Time Management into your daily life. Use them as a guide star to give you direction and keep you on the track you want to take.

  1. Be Authentic – Your priority list must reflect what you authentically hold in esteem versus what you believe should be important to you. Be honest when creating your priority blueprint. It can serve you, acting as a compass to support you in making decisions about where to invest your time and energy. If you don’t define your list based on your truth, you will be living someone else’s. I know you don’t want that reality or you wouldn’t be reading this book. Creating a list based on what you believe is expected of you, or out of fear about what others might think of you, is a recipe for stress and failure.
  2. Place Yourself on Your List – When you commit to taking care of yourself, you become more powerfully able to take care of everyone else in your life. While you may feel an initial resistance to placing yourself on your own list, believing it would be selfish to do so, I strongly encourage you to invest in taking care of you. When you do, you will be able to give more to every area of your life. I challenge you to take care of yourself at least as well as you take care of everyone else!
  3. Know Your Own Worth – If you don’t believe you’re worthy of acceptance and friendship, you will try to earn your way into both. The fear of unworthiness is at the root of many unproductive behaviors, such as accepting invitations you aren’t interested in, agreeing to requests that don’t compliment your priorities, and taking on responsibilities that detract from your own well-being. The disease to please may not kill you, but it will significantly detract from the quality of your life.
  4. Say Goodbye to Takers – If you’ve been living as a pleaser, there are undoubtedly takers around you. A taker is a person who uses your time, energy, money, and resources without giving anything back in return. I liken these individuals to parasites, and they will begin to disappear when you start saying no. Make a commitment to stand your ground and invest yourself in only those requests that meet your priorities or interest you. Prepare yourself in advance to decline invitations or requests that don’t. Anticipate the inevitable shedding of the takers in your life and celebrate the opening you’re creating for a higher quality of person to enter in their place.

Until next time, take care!

Kim

Blogs
Kim Fulcher

Week Eighteen: Manage Your Calendar

July 27th, 2009
Kim Fulcher

Welcome back to the Remodel Your Reality Challenge! Now that you’ve identified the priorities you’d like to invest in, it’s important to evaluate how you’re currently spending your time.

One Thing To Think About
The potential to experience joy, satisfaction, and happiness lives in your calendar. If your calendar does not reflect the priorities you’ve defined for yourself, it will be necessary for you to make some changes in order to create room in your schedule. In doing so, you will begin to experience more of what matters to you when you schedule less of what doesn’t.

One Question To Answer
Open your calendar and look at the commitments you’ve made for the next two weeks. How many of your commitments support the priorities you just established? How many do not?

If you’re spending more than half of your time catering to the demands of others, doing things because you think you should do them, or making commitments because you aren’t comfortable declining, it’s quite likely you’re unbalanced, overwhelmed, resentful, and unfulfilled at the end of most days.

It’s time to change that! You can support the people in your life, fulfill your responsibilities, make time for things that are important to you, and create a sense of balance in your life.

One Challenge To Take

  1. Track your activities for one week. Compared your personal and professional priorities against your activities. How many of your priorities have made it onto your schedule? How many items on your schedule have nothing to do with your priorities? How many activities actually serve to defeat or oppose your priorities?
  2. Make a list of all of your current commitments and evaluate how they either support or detract from your ability to live within your priority framework. (We’ll talk more about evaluating opportunities in another post.)
  3. Make a commitment to get free of commitments and activities that do not support your priorities. Decide what activities and commitments you’re going to remove, then create a plan to move them out of your calendar. Create a script for talking to other people around these issues, if it helps. Chose the first item to go and TAKE ACTION!

Until next time, take care!
Kim

Blogs
Kim Fulcher

Week Seventeen: Define Your Priorities

July 20th, 2009
Kim Fulcher

Welcome back to the Remodel Your Reality Challenge! Now that you’ve started to reclaim your energy, it’s time to decide how you’re going to use it. Over the next few posts, I’d like to challenge you to stop managing your time. Instead, I’d like you to consider managing your priorities.

A priority is something that is important to you, or something that needs your attention in the present. Your personal priorities define how you invest time within your life. Your professional priorities guide your allocation of the time committed to your work.

Making the decision to invest your time according to your priorities not only supports the effective use of each moment, it also paves the road to a high-quality life. It creates a structure for you to make decisions that help you experience life on your terms and gives you permission to turn away from requirements that don’t support your aspirations.

One Thing To Think About
It’s easier to use your time effectively when you begin to view it as a finite commodity that you have the choice to spend—or invest. Establishing a list of priorities for your life and work, and making commitments based on that list, allows the things that are important to you to exist in your life.

One Question To Answer
At the end of each week, do you feel exhausted, frustrated, and burnt-out? Do you sometimes wonder why you can’t seem to get control and question what is wrong with you? If so, you have not proactively decided how you’d like to use your time, and it’s possible that a good deal of your day is committed to other people’s demands, to items that seem urgent, or in response to what you believe is expected of you. If you’ve taken this approach to managing your calendar, you probably have very little time left over to invest in what matters to you.

One Challenge To Take
Set aside twenty to thirty minutes to move through this activity. Try to arrange for an uninterrupted period of time, which allows you to consider the areas of your life and work that are truly important to you.

Create a list that reflects who you are, not a list that reflects what you think other people expect of you. Some examples include:

Personal Priorities: Spending quality time with my family, taking time out for fun and recreation, taking care of my health.

Professional Priorities: Leading and mentoring my employees, developing new business, continuing to learn and grow my skill base.

When you make the choice to honestly define what matters to you, the possibility for life and work balance is created. It’s quite likely that your schedule will remain full, even after moving through this exercise. The difference is that you will be busy with things that matter to you. You’ll be living your priorities. As a result, you’ll have the opportunity to experience a much greater level of joy, satisfaction, and happiness each day.

Until next time, take care!
Kim

Compass MAPs™
Kim Fulcher

Remodel Your Reality: Step Into Balance

The Compass Guide To Life On Your Own Terms
July 1st, 2009
Kim Fulcher


What would be possible for you if every action you took, every habit you had and every goal you set were dictated by your own personal priorities and values?
(more…)

Blogs
Kim Fulcher

Week Twelve: Take A Project Inventory

June 15th, 2009
Kim Fulcher

Welcome back to the Remodel Your Reality Challenge! You’ve done a great job so far of identifying and addressing the things that drain your physical energy, and have begun to look at how you can increase your mental energy. Just like how decluttering your house reenergizes you physically, reclaiming your mental energy involves clearing out mental clutter that drains you, distracts you and holds you back with unfinished business. We’ve already tackled your to-do list in previous posts, so today we’re going look at all those projects you have sitting around.

One Thing To Think About
A project is something you’d like to create or accomplish that requires multiple steps. For example, drafting a financial plan or redecorating a room. Most of us keep an inventory of uncompleted plans in our minds. But having all that unfinished business hanging over your head can suck the energy right out of you. It can also leave you feeling anxious and depressed. This creates a vicious circle, since the energy drain this creates leaves you too tired and too stressed out to work on any of your projects.

The simple act of getting your projects out of your head, sorting through those you are committed to versus those that no longer make sense for you, and prioritizing what remains can be incredibly liberating. Couple that with committed, consistent action and your energy level will begin to soar.

One Question To Answer
How many projects do you have up in the air?

Work
Do you have any pending projects that you keep putting off or that you never manage to get around to? Keep a particular eye out for projects that don’t align with your normal responsibilities, your work priorities or your scope of expertise.

Home
How many unfinished or unstarted home improvement projects, organizational tasks, landscaping or gardening plans and so on are waiting for your attention? This includes things like major or specific cleaning projects, attic sorting expeditions and making plans for an automobile upgrade.

Personal
What sort of personal projects do you have hanging around in limbo?  What about that half-finished Spanish language course, or those craft projects you never get around to completing? This also includes personal plans such as setting up an exercise routine or a self-care regimen.

Family
Are there any unfinished family plans or projects hanging around making you feel guilty? Maybe you still have a camera full of photos from your last vacation waiting to be downloaded and printed, or perhaps that family trip you keep putting off planning.

Community/Friends
Do you keep “forgetting” to make plans for a girls’ night out, no matter how many emails the group sends you? Or maybe you’re supposed to be working on a project for your favorite charity, but just haven’t gotten around to it.

One Challenge To Take
Take inventory of the unfinished projects in your mind. Get them on paper and evaluate them to determine if they’re still meaningful to you. If they’re not, give yourself permission to put them to rest. You have a right to change your mind! If they are, get clear about what you want the outcome of each project to be—for example, a completed financial plan—and decide why this end result is important to you. Meaning creates momentum, so the process of connecting with why you’d like to accomplish the goal at hand will energize your actions.

Once you’ve identified those projects that you’re committed to, prioritize them. Decide which you’ll do first, which second, and so on. Then, begin working through the steps you’ll need to take to act on your first priority. Decide to commit a specific amount of time to the completion of your enterprise each week and follow through on that commitment. Work on one project at a time, giving yourself permission to move slowly and steadily.

Until Next Week,

Kim

Blogs
Kim Fulcher

Week Eleven: Tame Your To-Do List

June 8th, 2009
Kim Fulcher

Welcome to Week Eleven of The 52 Week Remodel Your Reality Challenge!  Last week we started the process of taming your to-do list.  I asked you to clear your mind of the many tasks and projects you had stored in your mental inventory by moving through a brain dump, and writing down every item floating around in your mind.  I also challenged you to create some structure around these items, by grouping similar tasks.  Today we’re going to put that structure into your calendar.

One Thing To Think About

Last week we organized items on your to-do lists into two groups; repetitive activities and one-time activities.  We’re going to take three steps to incorporate both activity groupings into your life. We’ll do that by integrating them into your calendar.  First, a few words of advice:

Repetitive Activities: An effective way to manage repetitive activities is to establish a routine around their completion. For example, if you know you need to pay bills weekly, the most effective way for you to make this happen is to pick a day of the week (even a time of the day) you will do so.  Schedule that appointment into your calendar, and show up to complete this task every week.  While you may need to make exceptions occasionally, this is by far the most effective tactic I’ve used in helping my clients work repetitive tasks into their calendars with ease.

Another helpful approach to managing your repetitive tasks is to take advantage of outside resources.  For example, could you make a standard grocery list, and use an internet grocery service to deliver food items to your house each week?  Is it possible for you to have your dry cleaner deliver to your home, instead of having to make the trip to their store each week? Investing a small amount of time to set up a system that supports your repetitive errands can simplify your process.

One-Time Activities: When addressing occasional errands, it’s most productive to group them together and attempt to complete them within close proximity to one another. While this is not always possible, your willingness to consider this new approach can support you in managing your inventory of tasks.

One Challenge To Take
Okay, it’s the moment of truth.  No more overwhelm.  No more excuses.  It’s time to take control of your to-do list.  You’ll do that by taking control of your calendar.

Step One: Get your calendar out.

Step Two: Pull out your list of repetitive tasks.  Pick one item, and make a standing appointment with yourself, where you will show up to address that task each week.  (I understand you will have multiple items on your list.  It’s okay to get your structure started with just one of these items.  If you feel incredibly ambitious, you can develop a structure for all of them.  Yet, even committing to one will put you well on your way to success).

Step Three: Consider your list of repetitive tasks.  Does any item lend itself to delivery?  Can you set up an internet grocery delivery or delivery of your dry cleaning?  If so, make an appointment with yourself for the upcoming week to complete that process.

Step Four: Pull out your list of one-time errands.  Put them in order of priority.  What has to be done first, second, third?  Now, pick two to three items to complete this week, and schedule an appointment in your calendar to address them.  Next week, come back to your list, and select the next few items to tackle.

I know this sounds simple, and it really is.  Taking control of your to-do list can be successfully accomplished when you combine structure with routine.  Now you just need to show up to work your routine!

Until Next Week…

Kim

Blogs
Kim Fulcher

Week Ten: Tackle Your To-Do List

June 1st, 2009
Kim Fulcher

Welcome to Week Ten of The 52 Week Remodel Your Reality Challenge!  Last week I challenged you to take control of your mental energy.  Your homework required you to do a brain dump; literally writing down every to-do, task, and project you had floating around in your head.  This first step was designed to help you clear a bit of mental real estate.  Over the next two weeks we’re going to tame that to-do list!  We’ll get started today by putting some structure around your list.

One Thing To Think About
I’m convinced that all women will reach the end of their lives with a to-do list. You juggle so many roles and responsibilities in your daily life, how could you function without one? Used proactively, lists can be great tools for supporting you in tracking the actions you need to take. Used destructively, lists can create feelings of overwhelm, frustration, and defeat.

One Challenge To Take
Take a look at the list you created last week.  Review each item on your list and ask yourself if the item in question really needs to be completed.

I’ve worked with many clients who took such satisfaction in crossing things off their list or who got such a charge from having a full list of things to do that they put items on their lists that really didn’t need to be addressed. Evaluate your inventory, and make sure that each task you’ve noted really needs to be handled.  If it does, keep it on your list.  If not, cross it off.  (See – you’re already making progress!)

Once you’ve cleared any tasks that don’t need addressing, create structure using these two steps.

Step One: Group related activities into categories. For example, all tasks that involve running errands could be organized into one category (errands), items that require phone calls and email responses another (communication), and so on.

Step Two: Once you have your categories defined, separate them into either repetitive activities (grocery shopping or your weekly team conference call) or one-time activities (running to the hardware store or attending an event).

That’s it for the week.  Next week we’ll talk about streamlining both types of activities.  This week, enjoy the process of putting some structure to your tasks. You have taken the first step in taming your to-do list!

Until Next Week…

Kim

Blogs
Coco Fossland

What Should I Delegate?

March 9th, 2009
Coco Fossland

I received a wonderful question today from a fellow entrepreneur.  She wanted to know, “with so many things to do, which items are best to delegate to someone else?”

I offered her a simple system to help her see where help would be best utilized.

First, take three days to track everything you do. Literally, keep a running list of all the little actions you take as the day goes on. (Write email to Sue, write copy for new web page, answer phone call from Frank, write a check to the dog walker.) The list will give you a reasonably good list of all the things you do with your time.

Second, add to each of these lists any other activities not represented in these list that you find yourself doing from time to time (or things you “should do” from time to time — like bookkeeping — but never do).

Third, go through the list and categorize the actions as follows:

  • A’s are “Must do myself”
  • B’s are “Someone else could do”
  • C’s are “I’d be much better served if someone did this instead of me”

Fourth, go through your list and mark an asterisk (*) next to any activities that support client attraction or enrollment. In other words, anything related to marketing or selling gets an asterisk.

Fifth, create your prioritized list of what to delegate. Your list should go in this order…

  • C’s with an asterisk
  • C’s
  • B’s with an asterisk
  • B’s

When you hire someone, be sure they are well qualified to do whatever is at the top of your list (the C’s with asterisks). And then, when you train them, use this same list to plan what to train them to do first, second, and so on.

I hope this is helpful!!

Best,

Coco

CoachCasts™
Ann Fry

No More Status Quo

January 5th, 2009
Ann Fry

Please Join us Tuesday for
No More Status Quo with Ann Fry
In the Overcome Overwhelm MAP™, speaker, coach and author Ann Fry, worked with us to take a clear look at everything that’s on our plate - and begin taking some of it off. Now, Ann is going to talk to us about her new book, “No More Status Quo” and help us get ready to make and embrace changes, no matter where we are in life’s journey.

Home | About Us | Free Community | Press & Media | Ad & Sponsorship | Opportunity | Partners | Policies | Contact Us